Her Name Was George

There are so many ways to tell this story that I don't know where to begin...  Lucie, Ashleigh and I are in Lancaster, PA for a Royal Rangers conference.  Lucie is running a few classes - Ashleigh and I are along for a vacation.  Elliott has Driver's Ed so he stayed behind with the dogs and Ashleigh's boyfriend.  This morning we went to breakfast at Bob Evans.  Our hostess was a spry woman in her 60's and was wearing a head piece with Valentines hearts on springs bouncing around.  All went fine and we stopped to pay our bill on the way out.  As we were paying, the hostess pointed out that HER name was George.  She was the youngest of 14 kids and her father named her George because he wanted a tomboy daughter.  That revelation lead to a story about her as a child being teased and having to fend for herself.  (Reminds me of the Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue.")  That story, which included references to pants lowering episodes to prove her sexuality, was nothing compared to what came next.  First, she quizzed me about who was President in 1969 (Nixon) and then the REAL story began...  George told us how when she was a teenager, she received a letter saying she hadn't responded to the draft.  Next thing she knew, she was being taken away in handcuffs and shackles.  Soon she was drugged and taken to Area 51.  Wait.  WHAT?!  Area 51?!  Indeed.  George shared how the aliens that are amongst us have been so for thousands of years.  "And they don't look like the pictures you've seen.  They look like you and me.  They are bald."  The aliens have provided the technology for many human accomplishments including the lunar landing.  It didn't take long for George's mother to retain an attorney who directly contacted the Commander in Chief.  A lawsuit was filed and suddenly George was set free.  Not with a check of course, "that could be traced."  Instead, George was sent home with a briefcase full of cash.  And years later, her golden years are being spent in the Lancaster Bob Evans - wearing a headpiece with spring mounted hearts suddenly looking very similar to alien antennas.

Though we could have stayed all day and listened to her stories, we had to leave.  As we left I turned back and said, "By the way George, tell me about your sister Larry..."